After the archetypal game of two halves against top of the league Battersea, Oakhill woke up to the harsh reality of life at the bottom of the table. Even clear-the-air crisis talks prior to the game failed to spark the team into life. Unfortunately, the boys couldn't match the brand new training tops for uniformity and quality.

Logan was in goal, Brett at right-back, Elzi a surprise choice at left-back and with Joel rejoining Hughesy at centre-half the defence had a seemingly solid look about it. A new look midfield saw Mikee D moved to right mid to accomodate Little Dave on the left. Holtie and Neil retained their centre mid berths. Nick and Skins were once again paired in attack in a conventional 4-4-2 formation from a management team desperate for results, or even just a performance.

The game kicked off despite a protracted wait as the ref turned up half an hour late and clearly more stoned than Ramsey on a Boys' Night. The talking seemed to have done the trick however as, despite going behind to a goal against the run of play, the Oak rallied to go in level at half time courtesy of the prolific Skins. 1-1.

We then did the worst thing possible by giving ourselves a round of applause. At half time. When absolutely nothing had been won. This only served to fire up our hosts and within 20 minutes of the restart we were 3-1 down. A catalogue of errors and sloppy play throughout the half saw Battersea stretch away to a 6-1 lead. With Skins picking up an injury and Logan turning a knee things went from bad to worse. The only bright note was the return of the Beige One in midfield, wreaking havoc for both sides.

All-in-all almost as shit as last week, but without the gay fighting-with-each-other stuff, so an improvement.

Team: Logan, Philpott, Hewlett, Hughes (c), Mitchell, Doran (M.Harris 80), J.Holt, Carnt, Montero (Beigeinho 70), Brown, Knight (White 65).

Subs not used: D.Holt, Francis

Goals: Knight

Man of the Match:  Neil Carnt